Waiting on a Miracle

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Getting By

I have been so busy lately with school it is sickening. Report cards are due next week, we have had a ton of parent/teacher conferences, & the holidays are approaching. My head is spinning from the long list of things I have to do & have no time to do them. Thank God for my husband & mother. My husband has been making sure I am well fed & my mother is actually doing most of my Christmas shopping. I am by nature a shopping guru & it just blows my mind that I have given up my favorite holiday activity to my mom becuase I just don't have the time or energy. She finished all of her shopping early & made me give her a list with my credit card!! She is almost finished & I am actually impressed with her ability to save me money & buy nice gifts at the same time! I shopped a bit online this week so I don't feel like a total loser! But seriously what the hell is wrong with me?

For one thing, I have been a nervous wreck lately. I've past the point of my 1st two miscarriages and am approaching my third edd & m/c milestone. this next week. I go back to the RE this Monday (12/13) for another ultrasound & bloodwork. This past Monday (12/6) everything was looking fine, with one at 7w3d & 155 bpm, and the other at 7w2d & 153 bpm. I was 7w3d by dates, so I was very happy with the growth. My symptoms have been up & down so who knows WTF is going on. Last night (12/10) I took my last Progesterone butt shot. On Monday, they will check my levels to see if I still need supplements.....between now & then though I will be frantically trying to find symptoms. I keep telling myself to just "enjoy" the pregnancy while I can, but I am over run with fear that this pregnancy will end up like the others. "If it is meant to be....it will be" -- that is my mantra! Oh well, take care & best wishes to all!