My Forgotten Angel

This summer because I was put on hold, I was numb to my TTC journey. When it was time to go back to school, I had almost forgotten my struggle with trying to have a baby. I was very preoccupied with getting through the surgery & recovering quickly. My first day back, I ran into two teachers who were VERY visably pregnant. One woman was about 20 weeks along and the other was about 30 weeks along. I am honestly very excited for them, but I wasn't prepared to see them so pregnant after not seeing them for a few months. I immediately remembered that if my second pregnancy would have been viable, I wouldn't have come back to school after the summer vacation. My due was supposed to be September 29th. I was pretty upset that night because I realized where I would have been in the overall scheme of things. I didn't have much time to dwell on it though because I had to worry about getting my classroom together and just being prepared for the kids. Well, September 29th is this week, and instead of giving birth, I'll be giving a speech to my new students' parents at Back to School Night! I can't even take the day off and do things for me because I can't miss this "important" night.

I feel like this angel was in a sense "forgotten" because it was smushed between my other 2 miscarriages. I was devestated, but I never had time to just grieve. After I miscarried, I was sent for testing which came back with a few clotting problems. I researched these problems to death after I found out. I also didn't take time off of work because my students were my sanity. I needed to get up and go to work each day or else I might have been put in an institution. I then became pregnant after only one period & that began a whole new set of worrying. Well, I need to set the record straight and let my little precious angel know that not a day goes by that I don't think about what could have been.

I know that many of my sistas are passing tough dates in the next few weeks. The miserable events that we endured together brought us together, and I wouldn't have made it this far without you all...so thank you!