Life's Crossroads & Curve Balls

Well, here I am Sunday afternoon & I am still waiting around for somethings to happen! My period has been a no-show...and so I've given up on pads! I've been trying to calculate its arrival & I then figure out the time for the pill & IVF. Part of me is getting used to this waiting around that I am thinking that I should push everything off until next spring. I think I am freaking out because WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!!! I couldn't believe it yesterday when the realtor called saying that the owner "loves us & wants to sell us the house!" I am now quite horrified, excited, & scared!

For the past 2 years I haven't wanted to make any major changes in our lives because I was always waiting for a baby. I got to the point though were I was living my life waiting for a baby that wasn't coming. So recent I started to do crazy things like buy a new car & go house hunting. We found this house that is perfect for raising a family...but it requires my input financially. The townhouse where we live now is very comfortable financially & I could take a year off of work without a problem. If I am not working with this new house, we would definitely feel it financially & my husband would have to work insane overtime to keep us living. Do I buy this house and not worry about possibly having a baby and the financial risk...or do I let the deal fall through and just stay in my comfortable townhouse? This question kept me up all night! Do I live for now or the future? What if the future I have dreamed of never happens? Will I kick myself that I let this great house get by us? What if it takes another 2 years to actually have a baby, will I kick myself because that would have been 2 more years to save money for a leave from work? So here I am at this crossroad....I have many decisions to make & no assurances! I guess this is the way of life! The lesson I am learning is that nothing is easy & there are always curve balls thrown in the mix of life!